nerves

Tomorrow I leave town for my final two interviews. I'm excited, but surprisingly nervous. Not that surprising, I suppose - both of my parents are nervous travelers. Residency is one of the biggest decisions of my life, and it's not entirely my decision. I haven't had any really difficult interviews yet, so if one of these programs is more...ahem...stringent in their interview process, I'm going to be unprepared.
Luckily, I have lots of support. The non-interview portions of this trip should be fun. My dad and Tom are going with me, and I have family in Milwaukee and Phoenix, so there will be plenty of non-medically-related fun to be had.
I had to present morning report (a case of congenital CMV) today. It did not go well. I felt ultra-prepared, but of course, there were things I had overlooked that I was asked about. And it was a depressing case, for which there is no good treatment, so there was no happy ending. I didn't get a lot of feedback, and my attending didn't say a word after my presentation, so I think he was less than impressed. I better get used to being less than impressive - I think that will be the story of my life next year.
After reading "Intern Blues" I am dreading next year. I know life is better for interns now than when the book was written (1980's), but it's still hard. The issues are the same. We're still expected to work our hardest at the time in life when many of us are hoping to start (or continue) families. I should be enjoying my fourth year instead of worrying about the future, but I can't shake this sense of foreboding, and that book certainly did not help.
Hopefully by my next post I'll be relaxed and rested after my travels.

extended absence

After an extended absence and a few requests from my dad, I'm back. I had no excuse for not writing, really, except that it's a harder habit to keep than it is to break.

It would be impossible to sum up nine months (I guess pregnant women do it all the time), but here are some of the highlights.

I finished out my third year of medical school with a surgery rotation. I lucked out and spent most of the eight weeks away from the Med Center (where the surgeons are notoriously harder on med students, especially those who have no interest in surgery). I spent four of those weeks observing pediatric surgeries, which will be very useful when I have to explain procedures to anxiety-ridden parents next year. I also became more familiar with Children's hospital, which helped a LOT during subsequent rotations. I spent two weeks on vascular surgery, which was really interesting. I had no idea what vascular surgeons did (yeah, something with veins.) Basically they monitor a lot of clogged arteries and veins and get out the roto-rooter when they need to.
My final two weeks of surgery were spent on ... colorectal. That was exactly two weeks too many. The faculty were fantastic, it's just the subject matter I couldn't stand. Any office that has special tables just for looking up butts is not an office I want to be in. And the surgeries - well, it's a good thing everyone in the OR wears a mask.

I had a nice relaxing week at the lake between third and fourth year, and then it was off to pediatric endocrinology. That was the first time I ever thought seriously about specializing. I loved being in clinic, I loved the attending, and I loved most of the patients. I still think I'll end up in general pediatrics, but it was nice to realize that there was a specialty I could see myself devoting my career to.
Pediatric infectious disease was next. Terrible hours, laboriously detailed histories, smelly pus-filled diseases. More power to them, because I couldn't do it. The bright spot of the month was when my brother got married. The wedding was beautiful and romantic and fantastic and fun. Matt and Molly are really good for each other.
NICU and subintern stories will have to wait, but I'm going to be able to keep up on this a lot better now that I'm on a "self-directed learning" month. Ahh, the life of a fourth-year.